Showing posts tagged rant

Do you ever see a couple and think “Why the fuck are you still together?! You need to break up already.
You’re really shitty for each other.” Well that’s been happening to me a lot lately. Ugh.

I’m amazed and confused. What the fuck? I can’t leave my house for one minute anymore or else someone will come into my room and fuck everything up. I just got home to discover that my father had come into my room without asking to find laundry, but in the process he knocked a bunch of shit over and apparently grabbed stuff that was sticking out of my travel bag, hidden under the chair, because he assumed it was dirty. So everything sitting at the top of my travel bag, including a fleshlight, got thrown across the room when he pulled out the towel it was sitting on xD I can only hope he’s so clueless that he didn’t know what it was or even notice that it was there to begin with (and yes he usually is that oblivious). This is the most awkward shit ever O.O

I’m sick and tired of all these damn old people calling me a terrorist because they’re too fucking stupid to tell the difference between a militant Arab Muslim and A FUCKING MEXICAN WITH A BEARD! What the fuck is wrong with these people? If you’re going to be racist, at least do it against the right race. I’m surrounded by idiots.

So who decided that vanilla was just going to be known as the standard default flavor everything, and who decided it was gonna be boring white colored? Vanilla is motherfucking black! That would have been way cooler.

It only took 30 seconds for porn blogs to start liking and following me from that last text post. Did you all even bother reading it and looking at my blog, or did you just see the words glory hole and whore house and decide to hit the little heart and cross? You realize it was an angry metaphor in a rant, right? I’m not an actual porn blog and I didn’t drive my car to an ACTUAL anonymous sex hotspot.*

*Well technically I did because that’s what that whole city is, but it totally wasn’t intentional!

Tl;dr this place is essentially the city sized equivalent of a cum stained glory hole.

I need to remember to not follow my GPS unless I’ve checked that it’s taking me the best possible route. Why the fuck did it take me through San Marcos?! There’s absolutely no reason to be sitting in traffic in this cheap whore house of a city.

Why would you break a shield wall to chase after retreating cavalry?! I don’t care how much you’re winning, sending a bunch of dudes on foot to chase after horses is always a dumbass idea. You realize that the entire point of riding a horse is that it’s many times faster than a person, right?

I should be studying or sleeping, but instead I’m laying in bed trying to stop myself from having a little internal rant and brooding for hours over mistakes I made ages ago. Ohhh shit.

DAMNIT! If you KNOW that you failed at house training your dogs. And you KNOW that because of that they piss and shit on the brand new living room floor multiple times a day, then why is it so difficult for you to get it through your head that either you shouldn’t let them be in the living room without supervision OR you should double check to make sure that there isn’t a mess you need to clean up BEFORE you go to sleep. I shouldn’t have to treat my own fucking living room as a dog piss mine field at 2 am on a regular basis because you’re too fucking stupid to understand the responsibilities and work involved in having two untrained dogs in an apartment. You’re not even trying anymore. I tell you this all the time and you can’t get it through your thick fucking skull. Dogs are a responsibility, not just something to cheer you up after you’ve been gone and left them alone in your bedroom for 18 hours. This is why I prefer it when you all disappear to your girlfriend’s place for a week at a time. At least then I don’t have to deal with this filthy bullshit or have to watch as you fuck up a sweet animals training and care so badly to the point that their behavior will almost be unfixable.

I’m bored. I’m tired. I’m kinda lonely but kinda don’t want to deal with people at all. I have a lot of work to do but I’m in no mood to start right now. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. This is my life.

WHY DOES AN AD FOR A PROTESTANT EVANGELICAL MEGACHURCH KEEP PLAYING ON MY AL GREEN/MUSIC TO HAVE SEX TO PANDORA STATION?!?!

1) Fuck off, I’m Catholic!

2) Do you not understand the point of this station?!  That’s a real fucking mood killer man. Not just talking about fire and brimstone but your boring ass voice too. Go advertise on some wannabe christian rock station or some shit. Assholes.

It really bothers me when there’s a really nice bathroom but they don’t have any type of dividers between the urinals. Especially on campus here. It’s like they over charge us for everything, spend thousands, maybe tens of thousands to renovate the bathrooms in the more important buildings because they’re wasteful fucks, but they couldn’t be bothered to spend a few extra dollars on a few pieces of cheap wood or plastic to separate the 10 brand new designer urinals. Men are disgusting but we like a little bit of privacy too sometimes. Especially when we get stuck next to a creepy obnoxious frat boy that just realized he has a secret craving for juicy Mexican sausage. Or a dude that drank all night and is splattering a little too much. I think instead of paying thousands of dollars in lab fees for classes I’m never going to take, or for the brand new polished marble counter top three feet away, I’d rather my money go to basic hygienic structures like that. Assholes.

Don’t ever ask me why I do the things the way I do them in that superior sounding faux concerned/apologetic voice again, or I will snap your neck like a chicken. Just because you’re an engineer doesn’t mean you know how to do anything except type equations into a calculator. I can thaw out my dinner wherever I damn well please without your know-it-all attitude. Especially since the only reason I put it where it was is because you are too stupid to train your dogs properly and they have a habit of eating my food if it’s not in a sealed box or being actively guarded by me. Like seriously what the fuck?! They always somehow manage to climb up the stove that is three times taller than them to steal my shit. And while we’re on the subject, never try to give me your shitty cooking advice again. Ever. You’re not allowed to criticize how I thaw my food or how I sprinkle my fucking grated cheese. You’ve never managed to cook a meal in your life without either burning it or somehow making the entire house smell like shit for two days straight. You’re the one who flooded our kitchen with soap, clogged our dishwasher by putting a coffee filter FULL OF COFFEE GROUNDS in it, TWICE, and ruined half of my pans. Don’t fucking mess with me asshole. I’m being nice to you because you’re emotionally underdeveloped and remind me of my little brother. I’d feel bad if I had to make you cry… but if you keep saying and doing stupid shit I will destroy you.

So we’re not allowed in the US to buy Cuban cigars and rum (or anything else) because the government doesn’t want more money going to the communist regime. So shouldn’t they reward us for stealing Cuban rum and cigars and having a good time at the commies expense? But noooo, our government has to be ass backwards and want to hurt them but also hurt us for trying to help our cause. FREEDOM!!!

If your weapon changes color and you hands are blistering PUT IT THE FUCK DOWN!!!! *inhuman rage screeching*